Album of the month

I bought Chris Tomlin's new album "Burning Lights" on iTunes yesterday and would seriously recommend it. Here is the link to his website, check it out!

http://www.christomlin.com/burning-lights

If there is right in the soul...

"If there is right in the Soul,

there will be beauty in the person.

If there is beauty in the person,

there will be harmony in the home.

If there is harmony in the home,

there will be order in the nation.

If there is order in the nation,

there will be peace in the world."

Lao Tze

My soul hasn't been right for a long time; by soul I mean the inner me, messy and real. The thing I've been hiding and protecting from all of you for the last 12 plus years. The brokenness I've carried in my secret place which has sadly destroyed my marriage, my friendships and caused untold damage to my children. The misguided need to protect the infected rancid wounds I hid within; turned me into a gollumesque character. One who was prepared to lie, cheat and dismiss anyone who came to close to it. All the while going to church and trying to pretend (quite successfully) that I was a "good" person.

Eat enough chocolate and you'll be sick. Tell enough lies, hurt the ones who love you often enough  and you'll end up a sad and lonely individual.

Were the wounds (legitimate and crippling as they were), so shameful and embarrassing that they were worth losing my wife and children over? Not in the furthest reaches of reality.

One year on, am I still the wounded gollum who would rather hide his inner pain, than let God's love heal him? 100% no.

Is their still an awful lot of healing for me and God to walk together through? Absolutely.

Will I be right in my soul? This is the beginning of that journey...